Trusting Happiness

I want to say that I am happy. I might even be happier than I have been in a really long time. Do I say ever? Maybe. It's hard for me to trust happiness. My life has been extremely topsy-turvy for the last, I don't know, at least 5 years or more. A lot has happened besides the dissolution of my marriage. I won't bore you with the details, but gosh. Now it seems I am sighing a lot. A sigh of relief. I don't trust happiness because I never know when something, a small moment, will trigger despair or depression. I think I have learned a lot of new coping skills and thought processes. I am able to change the tapes that play in my head, change my reasoning. When something happens I am able to pull myself out of it rather quickly. I think I have had more good days than bad days during the last few weeks. I know that I still have a lot of challenges to face but I think I will be ok. Should I just jump in, feet first and hope that happiness will stay? I think I will.