New Last Name

During my divorce procedures I will have the chance to change my last name. If my children were still little, I would just keep Clayton for ease in filling out school papers. Since they are grown and have their own identity, I will take on my new identity.

A lot of women use their maiden name but since I only feel pain when I think of my biological father I do not want to honor him by using his name. Although it is a cool name, Stanford.

My therapist suggested I could use my middle name as a surname. Deborah Carey. It works because it is spelled like a surname but I don't like the sound of it when I use it with my nickname, Debbie Carey. It sounds like Debbie Harry, which would remind me of the 80s rock band Blondie lead singer Debbie Harry. I don't have a "Heart of Glass", I have a "Heart of Stone".

My therapist also had a client that took on a family name from her genealogy. There are some cool names in my history like Kuper or Westmark. The only problem is I am afraid these men are also schmucks. I know for sure Kuper is. He was my mom's father who walked out on her when she was a wee little girl. Do you see a pattern here? I'm not sure there are any honorable men in our family.

I have thought about a new last name for a couple of years because I knew that divorce was inevitable. I have always been attracted to the last name Phoenix. Right now it defines what I am going through. I am just wondering that once I am through this stage of my life if I will still be attracted to it. If some cosmic shenanigans were to occur (because that is what it would take) and I were to re-marry I still don't think I will ever change my last name again. I am too old and too liberated and will be too independent.

Dictionary.com defines the phoenix as "a mythical bird of great beauty fabled to live 500 or 600 years in the Arabian wilderness, to burn itself on a funeral pyre, and to rise from its ashes in the freshness of youth and live through another cycle of years: often an emblem of immortality or of reborn idealism or hope"
Another definition is "a person or thing that has become renewed or restored after suffering calamity or apparent annihilation."

My friend, Danette and I were texting the other night trying to think of a new name for me. Here are some that made the list: (Tell me what you think)

Darling
Black or Cullen (suggested by Melena)
Stamos (yummy)
Obama
Oreo
Bieber
Buble
Jensen, Parker or Madsion or Madparjen so no one gets jealous
Carter or Schaffer (hehe, creepy)
Cougar (since that will define my dating life)
Estrada, Venderbilt, Kennedy, Hitler, Van Dam
O'Shaunessy
Dallas
Focker
Mellencamp
Fatone
Squarepants or Squidward
Snack Cakes
Knows Her Gun, Spotted Elk, Little Mouse, Three Branches, One Bear (all of these from days in Montana)
Monson, Hinkley, Kimball, Rasband
Teets, Wise, Kirkland (to make others feel uncomfortable)
Bin Laden, Andretti, Mussolini, Michelangelo, Davinci, Mao, Lenin, Kim Confucius, Ho Chi Min (which I could shorten to Ho)
Aerosmith, Poison, Nirvana, GunsNRoses, Zeppelin, McCartney, Lennon, Ono
Versace, (it was at this point that I decided I liked alliterations) Debbie Dolce
Danette said it needed to be sexier.
Debbie Delicious? (I could lick my top lip every time I said it. Is that sexy?)
Deuce (since it is the second part of my life)
Doppelganger
Debbie Double D (we decided that would require surgery)
Debbie Daisy Duke
Dufflebutt, Dumbledore, Dumas, Dangerous
I like the one from Danette "Debbie Dozital" pronounced "Does-It-All" (I hope she meant work and not sexy)

The list is endless. I think I like Phoenix, even though it is not an alliteration.

Deborah Carey Phoenix

What do you think?