This week's feelings are brought to you by, "I am ugly". This has not been a good week. I have been feeling ugly. No I'm not fishing for compliments. It is what it is.
I thought I was almost finished with therapy. I even had my therapist convinced...almost. She let me cancel one appointment but she said she wanted to keep the other ones scheduled, just in case. She's very wise. She busted me. Well really it might have something to do with that I couldn't stop crying at my last appointment. She had said before that every once in a while I would still have emotions come to the surface. I didn't believe her. Now I do.
I told her I had been feeling really ugly. I feel used, dried up, old, ugly, unlovable, unattractive, blah, blah, blah. I feel like I have nothing to give. She said, "When fishermen can't fish, they mend their nets. Now is the time for you to mend your net." In other words, I have to work on my innards. My soul. My self-worth. My divine nature.
Then she said we are going to do some inner child work. My assignment this week is to get out a picture of myself when I was five and write a letter to that little girl. Great! If you see me crying just move along.
And then she upped my appointments to once a week.
3 comments:
What a cute pic of 5 year old you! I happen to think you are very lovable, amazingly tough and simply fabulous.
I am glad that you have a good therapist. It sounds like she knows how to make you do the hard stuff that will be good for you.
I like that metaphor alot!
I consider myself blessed to have you in my life, Debs. Thanks so much for being so honest. I have been refusing to really look in a mirror for a few years because deep down I'm pretty sure I would see the same thing you see. But of course, it really is a lie. You are awesome and so am I. Sometimes it's just easier to see in someone else than in ourselves. You're on such a good path to a new and wonderful life. I can't wait till we can get together and laugh about everything. I love you.
Post a Comment